


The Sound of You

by Tfw_ur_illegally_blind



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: An Attempt At Slow Burn, Anxious Evan, Anxious pining, Blushing, Completed, Connor gets handsy, Dancer AU, Dancer Connor, Eventual Smut???, Flexible Connor, Flirting, Fluff, Hair Pulling Kink, Heterochromia, I just want them to be happy, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Making out in a movie theater, My first fic, Now with smut!, OOC Connor, OOC everyone, Singer AU, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Wicked - Freeform, botany majors, connor wore a wedding dress, i hope im doing this right, im trying ok, implied past sexual assault, mentioned masturbation, plant horder evan, singer evan, singer zoe, sleep isnt real, too many musicals, zoe alana and christine are goddesses, zoe and evan are buddies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-02 00:51:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 14,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20267326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tfw_ur_illegally_blind/pseuds/Tfw_ur_illegally_blind
Summary: Singer/Dancer au with a broken plot.Now completed!I will be going back and rewriting this whole thing sometime to make it better.





	1. Vegetable Lasagna

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hi! This is my first fic posted, thank you so much for clicking. Notes:  
A. I try to post every 2 weeks at least but the first chapters will come out a little faster. We'll see how much school lets me produce  
B. I just want everyone to be happy so I tend to write ooc. Sorry about that. The main reason I write fan fiction is to create a happy ending.  
C. I'm still working on perspective and writing in general. Sorry if it sucks?  
D. Tags will an updated with every chapter so please check them thank you :)  
E. I might actually update and correct chapters as i go. Make them better. I'll make sure to let you know if i do!!!  
Hope you enjoy!

(Chapters 1 and 2 are sort of introduction chapters to help familiarize myself and you with the setting, character status, etc, so they will be much shorter than usual :) )

Chapter 1 (Connor POV)

Connor hated vegetable lasagna. Whoever invented it, whoever thought it was a mildly good idea, deserved to burn in hell. He was also pissed because his car was in the shop and he had just been informed that his wonderful sister Zoe was going to be the one driving him around all week. Instead of him just taking one of their many other cars. Thanks Larry.

He stabbed at the food on his plate with his fork a bit more to make Cynthia feel a little better before deciding he'd had enough.

"Well this dinner was lovely. Anyone want to play Sorry?" he said, standing up and clearing his plate in the garbage before placing it in the sink. Zoe quickly followed suit, eyeing him gratefully. Coward.

They began to set up the game as their parents talked and finished up their dinner. Now that the siblings were in college and had opted to live in dorms, they were required to come visit at least once a week, resulting in rather disgusting dinners like this one depending on the new fad Cynthia was trying out. It wasn’t as bad as it used to be, there was much less fighting now. Any dinner or family socialization in general used to be treated like unmarked territory filled with landmines. Now, after years of therapy and countless apologies, they were finally functioning more like a normal family. Connor still had his own problems, so so many of those, all of them did. Connor and Larry still had their fights but they were less explosive and more spread out. And Zoe… Connor had no clue how she’d forgiven him at all but they both tried to put the past behind them.

A bowl of ice cream and three rounds of Sorry later, two of which Zoe had won and one Larry, the family dispersed through out the house. Connor stopped in his room to grab a few items. Even though both him and Zoe had moved out their parents had kept their rooms with some of their stuff because they stayed close by and often came over. After collecting his book and a couple items of clothing, thinking _I really need to work on doing laundry_, Connor wandered down the hall and tapped on Zoe’s door. If they wanted to get to their dorms before it was dark they had to hurry up and she was his ride. God he missed his car. Hopefully whatever was wrong with it this time would only take a week. 

The ride to their dorms was filled with comfortable silence, jokes about the other drivers, and a track of Zoe’s newly recorded instrumental covers playing over the stereo. And Connor was happy.


	2. Sunflowers and Pansies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay chapter 2! Hope you enjoy it and feel free to leave constructive criticism. Thank you so much for reading!

  
Chapter 2 (Evan POV)

Evan hated his blush. Whenever he got too stressed, concerned, or embarrassed, a pink blush spread across his while face and back and slowly darkened. It was hard to hide and once a girl had thought he was having an allergic reaction to a bee sting. That was fun. But to be fair, the girl was now his best friend and would fight anyone who made fun of Evan's blush. But still.

These thoughts were currently bothering Evan for a reason, (sometimes there was no reason. Anxiety kids), the reason being the fact that his blush was currently spreading because a girl at the greenhouse was crying next to the pansies and Evan had no blue how to help her. Or anyone to he honest. People are hard. /And with that helpful idea in mind, let's do this/, Evan thought and walked over to the girl.

It was easier than expected. Once he could understand her through her tears and she could understand him with all his stuttering, It turned out to be simple. The girl's ex had pansies planted in their yard and they had just broke up and she was really sad and god, why was he here he wasn't a counselor. After Evan managed to herd the girl to the herb section and place the basil she came for into her hands, thank the lord, he went back to watering the sunflowers and oh yeah hating himself. The flush that has just darkened as the situation continued and Evan stumbled over his words like an idiot had begun to slowly fade. He breathed deeply and blinked at the bright yellow petals of the sunflower in front of him. They had sprouted just 1 1/2 months ago and this one was already blooming. To be honest, he was proud. He gently watered it and patted around its base, checking for exposed roots, before putting his supplies away and heading to his car. He hated driving too but had learned to deals with it for the most part. And also what times were best to avoid traffic.

He pulled up at his dorm 20 minutes later. The greenhouse he worked at was pretty close, a small shop owned by twins named Maria and Michael called Claire's Garden after their late mother. It paid surprisingly well, but he did do almost everything when it came to the plant growing, and due to his botanical majors, he was pretty good at that.

His room wasn't all that different from the shop in a lot of ways. Small, warm, and oh yeah, filled with plants. They were spilling off almost every surface in his room. He wouldn't admit he was a hoarder, but it was hard to set down a mug of tea. So maybe.

After a quick check around his own little "shop" and shooting a text to his mom, promising to call her tomorrow, he settled in with his computer and trusty textbook to work on his essay about medicinal uses for poppies. Surrounded by all his plants, his day having gone pretty well, Evan couldn't help but feel happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear stuff happens in the next chapter and its almost done. I'm trying to you know, have actually large amounts of words in it because I don't really like short chapters. I should have it out by later today or tomorrow. Thank you for reading!!   
Xoxo


	3. Enchanting to meet you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor dances, Evan sings, Zoe is startling, Jared is a wingman, bmc is there as background, and people finally meet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so it turns out I had actually finished this chapter already so here we go, only a few minutes after my 2nd chapter. Thank you so much for reading!

Chapter 3 (Connor POV)

  
Connor's breath was harsh, the music gentle, his footsteps hitting the ground soft. He spun, perfectly in time with the music. Without looking he knew the distance his stride would need to be, where to go, when to jump and twist and bend. He was in tune, the music filling is brain until the sounds of dancing were all he could hear. Until he was floating, until there was nothing else, until

"CONNOR!"

He slipped, foot flying out from under him and back hitting the ground with a groan. Jesus that hurt.

"Zoe why??"

"Shit sorry, sorry, I thought you saw me come in." She leaned down and Connor accepted her hand and allowed her to pull him up. She gently brushed off his shoulder, feigning dusting him off before smiling. "You were doing really good, is this where you've been hiding from me?"

"I was doing good until I fell, no thanks to you. And yes, I seem to prefer being alone to getting my name randomly screamed for some strange reason."

"Yes, very strange," Zoe smirked. "Come on I need to grab my guitar from the studio and talk to Alana real quick before we head home."

The two headed for the car, Connor still complaining about his aching back but really just to get back at Zoe for screwing up his routine.

  
\----

Once they arrived at the studio where Zoe sang and recorded, she dumped him in the hall after getting a solid pinky promise that he wouldn't touch anything and ran to the closed door at the end of the hall, throwing it open and loudly shouting "ALANA!" before slamming it behind her. Zoe had a way of entering rooms.

Connor stood still for about 26 seconds quickly growing bored and wandering down the hall. He reached the glass windows that viewed some of the recording rooms towards the end of the hall opposite too where Zoe had ran. Most of the rooms were empty, the only thing Connor could see through the glass a dark room and his own reflection, however two of the rooms were full. In one a boy with wavy hair stood by a girl much shorter than him as they talked to another teen in a bright red hoodie in the tech room. The studio was almost 100% run by whoever rented and a lot of teens and younger folks used it. The only usual over 40 was the sweet lady who ran the place and played instruments to accompany people.

The second room had a sandy haired boy in it, facing away from Connor and towards the corner next to the tech room where a boy with glasses, headphones, and a bored expression sat, fiddling with the controls. He spotted Connor and waved a bit. When Connor reciprocated, he looked him up and down, grinned, and clicking some switches on his panel. Suddenly a voice, clearly the one of the blond boy filled the hallway, accompanied by guitar and piano. Certain parts had back up in the same voice so it was most likely a final recording and it was...

Beautiful. The boy's eyes were closed, his voice cracking ever so slightly over the emotional words. His hands fidgeted the entire time, coming up to cup around the microphone before waving down his sides and twisting his shirt. All Connor could do was stare blankly. He'd seen people sing a lot, Zoe practically never stopped. But this, this was different. Like a religious experience he wasn't a part of but had been told he could partake in, just for a moment.

The voice stuttered suddenly and Connor blinked back to life. The boy was still singing, but he his face was a stunning shade of red, his voice stammering, and his eyes where... bright brilliant blue and staring straight at Connor, no longer closed. The boy in the tech booth looked like his face was going to break he was grinning so hard. As Connor stared back the boy some how flushed even darker before turning back to the corner, hands picking at a cast on his left arm as his voice evened out again.

The song drifted to an end and the blond boy spun to the tech booth, tech kid giving him a thumbs up with the same grin. He sighed, Connor still able to hear through the speakers.

"You could've told me someone was watching Jared, I look weird when I sing.” Tech kid laughed and said something Connor couldn't hear with a wink.

Blondie mumbled a quick "Shut up," before sighing and adjusting his gear then, turning towards Connor, giving an awkward little wave as he headed for the door. Connor started slightly, having been entranced with the way the flush had been spreading across the his neck.

"H-hi," the kid stammered, scratching at his cast rather aggressively for a moment then realizing and tucking his hands into the pockets of his shorts. He had nice calves, clearly on display and oh God Connor was not thinking about that right now focus on his face.

"Hi," he said back before realizing he sounded like an idiot. Fuck introduce yourself to the pretty and talented boy. He stuck out his hand. "Connor. Murphy. You were really good."

"Tha-thank you?" he said, Connor not missing how he wiped his hand off before shaking his. Then his eyes widened with realization. "Oh you could..." he whipped around and glared at Jared who shrugged and waved him off. "I'm so sorry I didn't know he turned on the speakers that was probably loud and weird and annoyin-" he cut off as Connor gently touched his hand. This guy had no chill.

"Its fine," Connor laughed, "I said it was good didn't I? You definitely have a talent." God why couldn't he be more smooth. Now they were both blushing.

"Connor lets- Evan! Oh." As soon has he heard Zoo's voice Connor stepped away from Evan on reflex, just then realizing they had still been touching hands.

"Hi Zoe," Evan's voice came out muffled as Zoe had wrapped him in a hug. Connor was a bit surprised he was so calm with it, it seemed like people made him anxious. But Zoe could be calming when she wanted to he thought, thinking back to all the nights she had sat with him as sobs wracked his body. Evan huh. Adorable.

"I see you've met my brother. Careful with that one," Zoe joked with a wink and since when did Connor blush around people this was disgustingly horrible.

"Your brother?" came Evan's timid voice. Right, he was here. How had Connor forgotten that? And he knew Zoe. Maybe he would get to see him again and why was he thinking about that stop it you just met.

"Tragically yes I am stuck with this guy," Zoe sighed dramatically hugging Connor to her side. He shoved her off as she continued. "Its lovely to seen you Evan and I hate to steal Connor away from whatever was happening over here but we've got a dinner to get to."

"O-oh of course. See you next week? To work on that arrangement?"

"Yep! Tell Jared he's an ass for me. Bye bye." Connor barely muttered good bye before Zoe was dragging him down the ball with her and Evan was staring after them. It was probably a good thing Zoe got him out of there when she did or he probably would have found new ways to embarrass himself in front of Evan. God he was a gay mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok hopefully I'll have the next 2 chapters out before Tuesday. Thank you so much for reading and feel welcome to leave a comment or some constructive criticism, I've never been the best at the writing thing.  
Xoxo


	4. The music squad is kinda not really all here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan pines a little but in his own anxious way. They meet up and I dont write the actual meet up good for me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also known as i cannot title.
> 
> So i may or may not have accidentally deleted basically all of this chapter and because I cannot technology, couldn't get it back. So yeah, a little behind on my mental schedule. And a little hating myself. But you know, when you write things twice you tend to only include the main parts and have better details or something so who knows :)

Chapter 4 (Evan POV) 

Evan hates everything. Jared, himself, hot boys who watched him sing and heard him sing because Jared is an idiot _god he hated Jared_. Ok, maybe he didn’t hate Connor. After all it wasn’t his fault the studio was practically made of giant glass windows. He just hated how he apparently couldn’t function around a Murphy for the second time. When he’d first met Zoe in high school he had a massive crush on her which has thankfully faded. But now Connor... what was it with the Murphy siblings?!

He'd stuttered, fidgeted, and blushed like crazy. Plus, Connor had watched him sing. Evan really hated people seeing him sing other than his really close friends, despite being told over and over that he looked and acted and sounded perfectly normal. That he sounded good. But they probably just don't want him to feel bad and he sounds like shit. And now Connor has heard him and probably thinks he's disgusting and untalented. A little voice in his head that sounds suspiciously like Zoe reminded him that Connor hadn't acted disgusted. But then again, people hide their feelings. Ugh he had to stop thinking about him. He probably wouldn't even remember Evan in a week.

Evan sighed and rolled over, propping open his computer. If he was trying to get Connor off his mind he might as well get some work done. A while back the music squad (Zoe, Alana, Jared, and Evan) had created a YouTube channel to add their songs too. They had originals, covers, and songs people had commissioned from them. At first Evan had been too self conscious to appear in videos so his had either been animatics people and made for him or lyric videos. Eventually though through what the squad called “friendly peer pressure” and some very artful threats, Evan had grown used to being in a few videos. 

He has just finished uploading a cover he did of Let Me Go by Hailee Steinfeld with some beautiful harmony and guitar by Zoe and was scrolling through their songs. He liked to check up on their videos and listen to the rest of the groups work. Clicking on one of Zoe’s covers he smiled as the video came up. Boys, by Charlie XCX. It had been a joke song Zoe did as an anniversary present the year after Evan came out to her as bisexual but at the same time, it was kinda sweet. The video was clips of Evan, Jared, and all Zoe’s random guy friends. Of which she had a lot. When Zoe has first shown it to him she had described it as a “menu, since I’ve been skimping on one side of my wingman duties.” Whatever that was supposed to mean , had politely declined dating Jared. Even though Zoe teased him, she would never out him and was careful to make sure it wasn’t taken too far. She really was a sweet friend.

But now as he watched the video, all Evan could see was the tiny clips of Connor. Knowing Zoe, they could be a joke, but they were also pretty adorable. Connor singing with Zoe along to Fall Out Boy in a car, Connor smiling through a door crack, Connor performing a perfect spin while standing on a table. Evan couldn’t help but wonder if he did ballet. Not many people could pull off that good of a spin without some kind of training. Pulling his computer a little closer he propped his chin up on his fist and smiled softly at his computer, all thoughts of banishing the probably disgusted with him Connor from his mind gone in the soft glow of the screen.

—-

Evan pulled up to the studio exactly 15 minutes early for his meet up with the group. They had been commissioned to do A Lovely Night from La La Land and Evan had been excited all week. Songs were always easier to work on and a lot funner when it was music they actually enjoyed.

Walking towards the door he checked his phone one more time. He used to be way earlier, by almost 15 minutes, but over time he was very proud to say he had chilled out a bit. Still came early but that just gave him extra time to set up. While he was looking at his phone Evan almost bumped into the woman who ran the studio, a sweet old lady named Regina who had dreamed of becoming a musician as a child but couldn't afford it. She had dedicated her career to making sure others could. After giving her a quick hug and hello, Evan hurried inside.

He ducked through the door and hung his coat, smiling as the sounds of Zoe's voice and guitar echoed through the hall. She had practice right before and just messed around in the hall until everyone else came. The sounds of No Good Deed from Wicked filled Evan's ears. As he rounded the corner and grinned at Zoe a voice behind him joined in. He whipped around to find Jared smirking at him. Evan just rolled his eyes as the two began to get into it, Zoe standing up and belting while Jared fluttered around her emphasizing her words. They loved being dramatic, those two. 

"Why are you early Jared?" Evan mused. Jared was usually, as he liked to call it, fashionably late. "Decided being early was in?" Jared flipped him off. 

"You two are always early, I couldn't let you suffer any longer without my presence," Jared winked. "Alana told me to tell you to tell Zoe that she was going to be late. Some volunteer thing at the library is going over time."

"As usual, giving to the people." Zoe didn't even question why Alana hadn't texted her instead of asking Jared to ask Evan to tell her. Zoe's answering times were on a sporadic schedule unless it came to crushes, key music words were mentioned at least 3 times, or you texted to tell her you were dead to which she asked for your various possessions.

Evan smiled as Zoe and Jared walked into the room they were using down the hall. *quick author note: hi! I do what I want so this studio also has practice rooms and meeting rooms people can use. Idk how studios actually work but that's how mine does. Sorry* He was really lucky to have such a good group of people around him.

"Come on nerd we're not gonna wait for you!" Jared called. Evan just shook his head and headed towards them. A good group.

\---

Evan's thoughts that he had found a good friend group died when Jared began singing Old Town Road for the 7th time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Thank you so much for reading! I love you for that. Honestly its the best feeling to see how many people have hit this fic. Thank you especially to all my babes who left kudos or a comment :)  
2\. I love italics but can't use them bc I type in an email draft and then use that so sometimes i have italics and sometimes I just do /this/. Sorry  
3\. My third chapter to start with hating things. I'm really projecting here.  
4\. I love the song A Lovely Night because I saw Mushie R. 's animatic for it on youtube. I really recommend it and all their other stuff they are an amazing artist  
5\. Next chapter out on Monday or possibly tomorrow if I have the time.  
Xoxo


	5. Not thinking straight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm shit for cliche so Connor dances and isn t paying attention to who watched because plot convenience. Evan POV added!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi!  
Quick warning: there are some mentions of implied past sexual assault and sex/masturbation and drug use. It is marked before and after as all my stuff will be so just look out for that if you may be triggered thank you :) sorry this took longer than expected
> 
> Evan POV added :) sorry about any weird spacing

Chapter 5 (Connor POV)

Zoe’s guitar cover of Leave A Light On played of the speakers of the studio. Connor bend forward and let his hair spill over his head before pulling it and his body upright. Tying the fluff into a messy bun, Connor began to go through easy stretches. Dancing in class and with others was fun but the days he got to dance alone, however he wanted to whatever music he wanted... those were the best. He was majoring in dance theatre and loved creating choreography to songs, especially for Zoe. She always seemed happier watching him dance, a healthy way to cope with all his feelings.

After 10 minutes of stretching Connor grasped his ankle and slowly pulling and straightened, pulling it above his head. A trick that had taken time, but one he was most proud of. Besides dance, being flexible had its perks. 

*mentions of masturbation, drugs, and implied past sexual assault here, nothing detailed but is mentioned. Stay safe babes*

Connor had a rocky past with sex. Party after party in high school, pumped full of drugs, he had experienced... situations he never wanted to experience, then or ever again. But time, therapy, and countless attempts at doing it himself had led to a balance of sorts. He had only been with 2 people after high school, neither of which lasted, but he was able to jack off and the thoughts... The thoughts were easier. Not perfect, but easier. 

*ends here :)*

Pushing those thoughts from his mind, which may or may not have been accompanied by a mental image of the adorable Evan from last week, Connor released his leg and popped his back. Walking over to his phone, Connor clicked play on a cover Zoe and Alana has done together of Defying Gravity. Yes, it was cheesy, but Alana adored Wicked and Zoe adored Alana. And apparently Connor adored the both of them just in a slightly different way, so here he was. He had finished the choreo last month and was perfecting and memorizing it. 

As he stepped into his first spin, Connor heard the door to the studio open. He smiled and stayed focused on his movements. Zoe liked to sneak in early on the days she knew he was working on one of her songs. This dance was really just whatever Connor wanted and had become a mixture between contemporary, acro, and ballet. He had taken so many dance classes over his lifetime (thanks rich parents) that he could easily blend them together.

By the time the last notes tell and Connor slid out of a turn into the splits his eyes were closed and breathing fast. One of the other tricks he had learned rather quickly was being able to dance with his eyes closed, becoming free of distractions. It took a lot of memory of where things where and a good sense of direction. Both of which Connor hadn't had without weeks of practice. He let out a deep breath and rolled back, sliding his legs up and wrapping an arm around them so he was curled up, facing the wall with a window in it directly in the pool of light it left on the floor. He sat for a moment, just taking in the light and being still, before standing slowly and stretching all the way up, reaching for the ceiling. His back cracked loudly and after a sigh of satisfaction Connor turned towards the door, and the large window, only to be met by Evan Hansen's (he had forced Zoe to tell him Evan's last name so he could find his social media) pale blue eyes and Zoe's beaming smile. Well shit.

Chapter 5 (Evan POV)

Evan had known this was a bad idea. He'd known it was a bad idea from the Zoe had cornered him after the meeting, asking if he had plans. He knew it was a bad idea from the way her eyes had lit up when he accepted her invite to dinner because he had promised his mom he would get out more and who could say no to Zoe. He especially knew its was a bad idea when they pulled into the parking lot of a dance studio, Zoe throwing a quick excuse about picking up Connor his way and was off. A horrible idea. Really one of the worst he's ever had.

Yet he'd followed Zoe inside despite this being the worst plan ever and had sat with her on the bench and watched in awe as Connor danced. All he could do was stare, to take it in, despite his own brain screaming at him that he was being creepy and stalker-ish and needed to stop. But he ignored that through some fateful magic and the voice quieted as Connor did some beautiful steps before kicking his leg up and /holy shit that was hot/.

Despite Evan being able to resist some of his brains urges, he refused to give in to the thoughts swirling right outside his brain, for gods sake he barely knew the guy and was sitting next to his sister. Keep it together Hansen.

The song (defying gravity, Zoe and Alana's cover. Cute) came to an end and Connor hit the floor in a perfect split that a moment later he slid out of, curling up in the sunbeams coming through the window. His hair was a golden cloud above his head in the light, his posture neat but relaxed. He stood, shaking Evan out of his daze, and after stretching turned towards the window and met Evan's eyes.

Connor's hair, when down, covered his left eye. Now that it was up in a bun, only a few bits of side bang fell onto his face and Evan could see the clear, bluish green eye that was normal hidden. It was a stark contrast to the right eye, a deep brown. /Heterochromia/ Evan thought in wonder. He'd had a friend in elementary school with Heterochromia but since then hadn't met anyone else. On Connor it looked stunning and at home, his eyes liked stained glass windows on a spring day.

Poetic thoughts aside, Connor had reached the door and pulled it open, giving both Zoe and Evan a soft smile.

"Hey loser. Evan." Zoe smacked Connor's arm before muttering something about the bathroom and them not going anywhere before running down the hall, leaving the two boys alone.

Connor looked at Evan with an expression he couldn't quite read.

"Fancy meeting you here," Connor said, smirking at him. “Zoe drag you along?”

“Oh no well yes, she invited me to dinner. With your family. If that’s fine?” Connor just laughed, a soft husky sound. 

“It’s not an invite if it includes a death threat,” he said. “But I’m more than fine with someone at dinner who I am not related to. But seriously. If you don’t want to come, I’m sure Zoe won’t die.” 

“I w-wouldn’t count on it.” Evan said, smiling slightly. Connor gave him a crooked grin in return, his mismatched eyes sparkling. “Besides, my mom wants me to get out more instead of eating spaghetti with my plants.” And there he went, saying something lame and stupid just because he couldn’t think straight with the way Connor was watching him. In more than one way. But instead of seeming horrified with the realization that Evan was a weirdo Connor’s face brightened.

“I get it, my family seems to think being social is in fact the norm, not a weekly achievement.” Just like that, Evan was once again lost for words. 

Zoe chose that moment to reappear, saving Evan from saying even more moronic sentences and tossing Connor his coat and dance bag.

“Change your clothes at home jerk, you stink. Well Evan, if Connor hasn’t scared you off yet, to dinner we go!” 

As the three walked to Zoe’s car, Zoe going on a monologue about how Connor owed her two weeks of free chauffeur service because his car was in the shop for longer than expected, Connor leaned close to Evan.

“So plants huh?” His breath lightly brushed Evan’s ear as he passed before walking to the car and holding the door open for him. Evan grinned at him and climbed in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you so much for reading. Notes have been updated.  
An Evan POV will be added to this chapter (chapter 5) so if you come back to read the next one, maybe check on this one again.  
Sorry for the weird posting :)  
Feel free to leave comments or constructive criticism or any mistakes you find as I'm bad at going back over my work  
If its the middle of the night remember to get some sleep and drink water in the morning  
Xoxo  
P.s. the end notes from one of my other chapters is here so feel free to ignore that. Idk how it happened or how to fix it


	6. Options

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan comes to dinner and the boys are fluffy. Minor mentions of self harm, marked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School is stressful but Im trying to get writing done in my free time. Updates will most likely slow down a lot, as I have a sporadic posting schedule. 
> 
> Mentions of self harm, marked before and when it ends
> 
> I hope this chapter is alright literally haven't read it over yet I can't. Sorry if it sucks :)  
Tags updated

Chapter 6 (Connor POV)

Evan was wonderful. Sure he was clearly anxious and stuttered. He also wore polo shirts and majored in botany and minored in field ecology, and was the absolute cutest thing Connor had ever seen. His parents loved him too, Larry happily engaged in a conversation about botanist careers while Cynthia looked on and Zoe shoveled food into her mouth. Evan himself seemed slightly distressed by the topic or extremely distressed and just hid it well. Probably a happy medium.

*mentions of implied self harm and urges to self harm. They will be marked when they end but will be brought up in later chapters as well, also marked*

Connor had been slowly eating, observing Evan and trying to ignore the way the lights seemed far too bright. This was a good night and he was not going to ruin it. His body however decided otherwise and his arm began to burn. The feeling streaked from elbow to wrist and Connor really couldn't deal with this right now. He tried to focus on how happy Cynthia looked instead of his need to take a pill, how pretty Evan's eyes were in the light instead of how bright it would shine against his blood. They were laughing, Evan telling them about how his arm had been broken twice now, same place. "Just unlucky," he said, smiling but anxiously picking at the cast. The burn spread down Connor's thigh and without thinking too much he dug his fingernails in. It had been a long time since he'd coped in... that way. Now he just pressed down his knuckles, tightened his grip upon ice cubes, tried to pretend the red marker was helping. He called his mom, Zoe, Emma Mell his therapist. But no matter how good he was getting, the urges flitted in from time to time.

*ends here*

Connor was snapped out of it by a gentle hand on his. Surprised, his eyes flit down to Evan's hand which had slid under Connor's palm, softly putting a barrier between his fingernails and thigh, before trailing back up to Evan's face, filled with concern. And an (un)healthy heaping of anxiety, but Connor had realized that was normal on the ride over. Connor realized he had been staring when Evan blushed and pulled his hand away with a soft "S-sorry." A shame really because Connor had in no way disliked the warm hand pressed between his own and his thigh. But it was too late to do anything about it, Evan already back to talking about college with Cynthia, and Connor couldn't just reach out and hold his hand. Evan had only been freaked out by Connor trying to choke his own thigh and had stopped him. Definitely not interested.

Before he knew it he was back to looking into Evan's clear eyes as he asked him some question about college and that was good enough.

\---

So Evan really sucked at Sorry. He was excellent at saying it, in fact he did every time anything was slightly out of order, whenever he dropped a piece, whenever his elbow brushed Connor's knee. Connor suspected that Zoe was already aware of Evan's lack of skill as she had opted for her own team and was smirking at him. Connor had no clue how one could be bad at a game where all you had to do was follow instructions. Yet here they were, losing for the third time. Evan's luck also cancelled out Connor's apparently and as their last piece was kicked Larry laughed.

"You really do have bad luck." Zoe tensed at this though Connor wasn't quite sure why. Larry teased all of them relentlessly when it came to losing. Then again, Evan was new to the family. Or at least family game night, Evan and Zoe had actually been friends for years now.

"Ah no its probably me, I lose most times anyways," Connor said, stretching then giving Evan's hair a quick pat. He smiled slightly up at him and Connor's heart rate spiked. Zoe stood up and they all winced when her knees popped. 

“I’ve got some notes I need to work on for class, Evan do you want to stay and hang with Connor or whatever you want or I can drive you home because I kidnapped you.” Connor couldn’t help but turn the puppy eyes on Evan. They had been getting along so well and Evan was super cute and Connor needed more friends. 

“We can play Mario Kart,” he breathed out, eyes pleading. Evan grinned and pushed his head away, that beautiful blush spreading across his cheeks and fading his freckles. A picture for the mental library. Connor needed to study the patterns in those freckles.

A few minutes of pleading later and a promise to drive Evan to the studio to get his car resulted in Zoe in her room listening to Queen rather loudly, Larry and Cynthia watching some old person show down stairs, and Evan perched on the edge of Connor’s bed (On Connor’s bed!) staring around his room like it was a museum full of interesting greek artifacts, not old band posters and yesterdays clothes. His blush was still in place, though lighter. Connor gazed at him for a little longer before flopping onto his bed, his hair fanning around him and falling onto his face.

“Options. 1, play Mario, 2, cry, 3, make out, 4, eat my soul, 5, watch a show.” Connor mumbled around the hair in his mouth, before picking it out. Only when he looked up at Evan, who had turned to him when he flopped, did he see that once again the flush of Evan’s face and how it had spread like wildfire. So much for letting it fade. Then he realized what he had said. “I... that was a joke. The one. The make out one. Sorry I have no filter I swear.”

“So eating your soul is still an option?” Evan said a bit airily through his nervous smile. Connor just gaped up at him. “I’m fine with it. I mean I s-say crazy shit when I’m nervous and Jared basically-ly speaks crack. Plus I’m l-like bisexual? So I mean yeah I’m ok with it. Sorry.” They both stared for a moment, the silence thick, then Connor cleared his throat.

“Don’t apologize. Ever. You’ve done nothing wrong. 2. I’m like hella gay so yeah there’s that. And are you ok with me having no filter, or making out with me. Just gotta clear that up.” Evan floundered a bit at that, hand fluttering nervously about his hair before finding his cast and tearing at the edge of it. It was too late to take it back, to just say it was a joke again. So Connor just held his breath and waited. After a moment Evan seemed to gather his cute self enough to form an answer, taking a deep breath. 

“Both?” 

This time the silence was put thick and suffocating but like a breath of fresh air. In fact Connor inhaled gratefully and opened his mouth without thinking. 

“Oh thank god because that was going to be really awkward and I really like you and don’t want this to be awkward? And I kind of want to kiss you but I think you seem like a ‘take me to dinner first’ kinda guy because you’re adorable like that and now I’m rambling so I’ll stop.” Connor had closed his eyes somewhere during that sentence and when he blinked them open Evan was staring down at him, a shy grin spreading across his face. 

“I like documentaries and shows like Parks and Rec or the Office. And I’d love to go to dinner with you,” here Evan let out a quick breath and the now familiar look of anxiety spread across his face. “I mean if you were-“

“I was,” Connor said, his smile now matching Evan’s. “When are you free?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo! I will make an Evan POV next chapter of the show watching and date. Hopefully you liked it and will continue to read! As always thank you and feel free to comment anything including any prompts you'd like to see and I can try to put them in this one or another fic, or constructive criticism.  
Xoxo
> 
> P.s. Zoe totally wants to set them up. I've seen lots of Zoe in fics not wanting them to date but in mine since Connor is in a much better place and everyone is happier I feel she would really love for them to be together


	7. 101 questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not a ton of progress but I'm trying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi, sorry its been so long, this will probably be my updating schedule though. Hope you like it :)

Chapter 7 (Evan POV)

Connor was warm, his skin and soft hoodie pressed against Evan's arm and back, his fingers brushing Evan's waist in a way that made him want to press Connor into the bed and explore just how warm his mouth was. And sure enough Evan's face began burning at the thought.

The two had finished watching a documentary about coral and were mushed together on Connor's bed reading articles about the “top 100 questions to ask someone to get to know them”. Of course Connor had a tv in his room. Classic Murphy. Evan had been in this house before, a few times actually, but had never met Connor. The room was a deep blue, almost indigo, with band posters taped up on the walls. Books were practically spilling out of a small black bookcase and picture frames of Connor and Zoe filled the dresser top, none of them in their teens. Evan decided not to ask. Connor was adorable as a kid, eyes bright and a tiny gap between his front teeth.

“Did you have braces?” Connor startled, eyes flicking away from the tv to the boy his arm was around. 

“What?”

“Oh my gosh you totally did.”

Connor grinned at him, looking confused. “Yeah I did, I had a tooth gap. How did you know that?” Evan just pointed at the picture before putting on his best pouty face.

“It was cute though.”

“If you think a teeth gap is cute you would have died. I had a lisp for like 3 years and was a total nerd. Actually,” Connor said, tilting his head, “I still am.”

The two smiled softly at each other and Evan couldn’t help but feel extremely lucky for once. He was on a cute boy’s bed, said boy’s arm wrapped around him and face tilted down towards his. It was so strange to feel so safe and comfortable with someone he had met so recently, yet here he was. Of course there was still the constant buzz in the back of his mind, chatter like an am radio station, and a fluttery feeling in his lungs. But this was good.

Evan sighed and leaned back, his exhaling making Connor’s hair float out and then land on his forehead. Connor brushed it off and cupped his hand around Evan’s face, squishing his cheeks. 

“What would you do with a million dollars.”

“Hmm, lemme think,” Evan managed to mumble off from between his squished lips and Connor’s fingers. “Pay off college? Own a botanical garden? Buy a house?”

“Boo, all boring except the garden one go for that.” 

“My needs aren’t boring and fine garden it is. Next question. And hands off or I’ll bite you.” At that Connor raised an eyebrow before saying lowly, “Didn’t know you were into that kind of thing.”

Evan stammered and felt his face heat. “I didn’t I’m not I mean I-“ “Relax Ev I’m kidding. It’s fine. Hands off the face it is.” He gently patted Evans jawline with his finger tips before tracing them down his throat and dipping them into the collar of his shirt slightly, resting them against Evan’s collar bone. Oh god this boy was going to be the death of him.

“I can feel your blush,” Connor whispered. “Is this ok? Because if it’s not honestly just tell me I won’t make it weird it’s perfectly fine to say no-“ 

“It’s- it’s good. Great. Please don’t stop.” Breathe Evan, god flirting is definitely not your forte. “It’s fine.” Before he knew it Connor’s wicked grin was back in place and his fingers were tracing light circles against Evan’s skin.

“Favorite season?”  
“Early summer, everything’s blooming then. What about you?”  
“Spring. Everything comes alive again. Feels better. Best childhood friend?”  
“Jared, sadly enough I’ve always been stuck with him.” Connor let out a snort at that.   
“I didn’t have a lot of friends, I was more the troubled kid who smoked and threw things in class the one day a week he was there.” Evan was quiet, short hair brushing Connor’s chin.   
“That’s- that’s doesn't sounds good. You deserve to have friends. How’d you graduate if you didn't go to school?”

“Awe, you really do care.” Connor’s breath tickled Evan’s scalp. “I got it together senior year. Well, Zoe may have threatened to light my bookcase on fire and I may have almost died and cried for like 3 consecutive weeks but I got it together. Yay graduation!”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Evan could feel how Connor’s chest had tensed slightly and his breathing quickened. He didn’t want to push him, he fully understood wanting to keep some things to yourself. 

“Not right now. I’m sorry that’s... a lot to unpack. Eventually if you want to hear it then maybe. Until then...” Evan smiled. Connor trusted him. 

“Next question?”

—-

“And the final question, question 101, describe your idea of a perfect date.”

“That is not a question.”

“It totally is, it says it right here. And no you cannot see it.”

“The article is literally called 100 questions!”

“Oh hush Hansen just answer it.”

“F-fine. Paris. It’s spring and all the trees are blooming. There’s a river nearby and someone playing the harp and $80 spaghetti.”

“You want me to take you to Paris?” Connor lifted an eyebrow and grinned down at Evan who just blushed.

“I was obviously kidding.”

“All I’m saying is that could be arranged. My folks are loaded.” 

“I don’t- wait really? No no I was joking.” Connor just laughed and ran a hand through Evan’s hair, sending a shiver through his body. “Umm, well the place doesn’t matter as much as the person and I think you’ll do nicely. I guess I’ve never really thought about it before.”

“Awe you’re cute.” That’s traitorous blush was spreading once more. “Well if you have a specific place in mind let me know but otherwise... how about a surprise. Next Wednesday after work I’ll come pick you up?”

“A surprise is f-fine. Just um, nothing scary? And yeah Wednesday works.” The two sat and smiled at each other, Evan’s face red as Connor’s fingers slid across his collar bone while his other hand worked on his scalp.

“Mario kart?”

“Mario kart it is, despite the fact that will require me to take my hands off you.”

“We can wait a little longer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah for a lot of people, me included, spring is like coming alive when you've got seasonal depression. Projecting is fun. I really can't slow burn so this is gonna go as fast as I want, sorry about that. I really hope you liked it and I'll be back in probably 2 weeks :)
> 
> Xoxo


	8. The First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First date I'm trying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long!!! I'm going to try to get another chapter out this week. They get flirty but nothing much happens :) Hope you like it

Connor didn’t get nervous, not like this. Sure he got anxious, but it was different than whatever this feeling was, this fluttery motion spreading through his chest. He got anxious and smoked it off or got anxious and threw up or got anxious and filled his brain with anger. He didn’t think he’d ever been like this though, running a hand through his hair not to tug but to smoothen it out, every part of his body screaming how he was going to fail and this was a horrible idea yet he kept going, he wanted to go. For once his own brain couldn’t convince him. 

Connor stared at his mirror, eyes catching the mismatched reflection. Stupid genes. Now whenever people saw his eyes they told him how they were stunning or some other bullshit way to cover up his freakishness. But kids never understood that and for a long time the same kids who had painstakingly carved three three horrible letters into his locker door called him “dog” or “bitch” and barked when he came near, howling with laughter. School had been a fun time.

Evan had seen his eyes though, Connor chided himself gently, and he had done nothing, said nothing. Not always a good sign but maybe he would just let it slide or hadn’t noticed. Zoe had done his hair, braiding it up into a fluffy bun so that only some shorter bang-like pieces hung around the front and swept over his forehead. He normally only put his hair up for dance and studying but this was a special occasion. Plus Zoe had been rather enthusiastic about it, turning on him as soon as he drove Evan home asking what they did. He quickly caved to Zoe’s delighted squeals. And here he was, hair up and a touch more eyeliner than usual. Looking like a dork.

With a sigh he sat at the edge of his bed, before giving in and opening his phone, smiling down at his texts for Evan. He could practically hear him saying them, his tone the same in text. Adorable. Evan’s contact picture was a selfie Connor had snapped in the car, lips pressed to the boy’s cheek as he blushed furiously. God he was a cutie. And god Connor was even more of a dork for thinking the word cutie about someone. This kid was gonna be the death of him. 

Before he could change his mind Connor shot Evan a short text saying he was on his way to pick him up from work before turning off his customized-to-Evan pre-date playlist and throwing open the door to his dorm. Well, gently threw, the hall rez. got pissed when they banged on walls, something that came up a lot. Time to be gay. Gayer. More gay than usual. 

Waving a quick goodbye to Brooke in the commons and then flipping her off as she let out a “Have fun sweetie!” while he passed, Connor walked to his car and just sat for a moment. This was happening. Social interaction is good for you. Evan is beautiful. He works at a fucking garden for gods sake. Shaking his head a little he smiled and started the car.

—-

Any thought that dates were ever a bad idea immediately left Connor’s mind at the sight of Evan holding a bouquet of, if he wasn’t mistaken, daffodils.

“They’re um, we sell cut flowers too? And I thought you’d like them they remind me of you and mean, I mean, I just-“

“Thank you,” Connor said, taking the flowers, and now he was the one blushing and unable to speak. “That’s so nice. Like, no one does cute gay things for me. You’re cute and I’m gay and this is great.” 

Evan was beaming by the time he managed to use his words properly, apparently undeterred by Connor’s nonsensical response. 

“Good! I-I’m glad.” They smiled warmly at each other until Connor realized he did in fact have a car and a place to go.   
“Ready to see your surprise?” He grinned and turned, opening the car door for Evan like the gentleman he was trying to be, giving a little arm flourish as Evan giggled. /Giggled/, god he was perfect. 

—-

The pair pulled up to the front off a small cafe, practically spilling from the windows it was so full of plants. Creeping vines traced around the door while potted trees and flowers formed a crowded path. Snake plants, succulents, and devil’s ivy filled the stained glass window. Connor could practically feel the happiness radiating off of Evan. So the cafe was a good surprise; Connor had been second guessing himself all week. The way Evan’s eyes shone as he gently stroked one of the trees said he had nothing to worry about. 

“It’s beautiful,” Evan breathed out. “How did you find this place?”

“The internet, it’s a dark and scary place,” It had taken Connor approximately 3 hours to find them through their only social media, an instagram. Thankfully they were open every day and had amazing reviews in the comments. That and the abundance of plants, the real reason Connor had chosen this place, made it perfect for a first date surprise. Especially if your date happened to have a plant obsession. 

The two walked inside, Evan careful to avoid the flowers and vines strewn across the floor. Connor couldn’t take his eyes off of the blond boy as his eyes farted around the room trying to take in all the foliage at once, excitedly pointing out and naming them as they walked to the front where after consulting Evan Connor ordered a hot chocolate, caramel latte, and two cookies.

“Caramel latte?” Evan said, grinning at Connor before hesitating. Before he could even get out the inevitable apology Connor gently pushed his shoulder, seating him and sitting across the small table that had a hedgehog shaped pot full of succulents on it. As he sat he slid his hand into Evan’s under the table and crossed their ankles, causing Evan’s face to flush. Connor was pretty sure he had a blushing kink at this point, the red glow causing him to smirk and trace a circle on Evan’s palm with his thumb, doing nothing to help Evan’s situation.

“Yep. I normally get a black coffee to keep up my aesthetic you know but I’m pretty sure your view of my was killed when you saw the braces.”

“The braces were cute I’m t-telling you, plus-plus black coffee is gross I would have been more critical if you got th-that.” Connor sipped his drink and hummed in agreement. “Besides, I got hot chocolate. Not exactly... aesthetic.”

“Oh don’t say that,” Connor said, tilting his head. “I think it matches you nicely. Warm and soft and chocolatey.”

“Chocolatey?” Evan’s eyes sparkled as he smiled at Connor over the top of his cup. 

“Uh-huh. Bet you taste just like a cup of hot chocolate,” Connor winked at Evan and didn’t miss the tiny shiver he got in response along with Evan’s nervous stuttering, trying to come up with something, anything. Connor just took another drink of his coffee and slid his foot up and back down Evan’s calf which surprisingly quieted the boy. 

The two smiled at each other and sat in the cafe for the next hour, chatting about Evan’s plants and the girls who had a fight in Connor’s last dance class, simple things. First date things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully next chapter soon. I've got a few one shots a might do and of you have any prompts or constructive criticism comments refuel my will to live so ;)
> 
> Love you and thanks for reading
> 
> Xoxo


	9. It Only Takes a Taste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More singing and some cheek kisses :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter! I really hope you like this one, for the past two or three days my writing has been flowing better in my opinion. Hopefully in yours too!

Chapter 8 (Evan POV)

Evan was doing his best to listen to Jared, honestly, but it’s hard to listen to your friend going on and on about tone and expression when the prettiest boy you’ve ever seen is watching you with sparkling eyes you can actually see due to the fact his hair is pinned up in a braid looping around his head.

Evan was in the studio being prepped for his song and despite the fact all he could hear was Jared in his headphones, all he could see was Connor, leaning against the wall, fingers tapping against the inside of his thigh which was surprisingly distracting.

“Evan!” Evan’s head snapped back to Jared’s face, glaring through the glass between their rooms. “Come on dude pay attention. Try and open up this time, you seem tense.”

“S-sorry, open, got it,” Evan fumbled to adjust the microphone a bit before standing, face turned so Connor was just out of his eyesight. After all, out of sight out of mind right?

Zoe and him were singing It Only Takes a Taste from Waitress, a commission from a patron. Zoe didn’t have much to do so Evan was going to record the majority of his parts today will Zoe and Alana messed around with instrumental, and then record her bits and they parts they both sang tomorrow, along with any of Evan’s piece left over. Which could be quite a lot, considering how unproductive Connor’s intense gaze made Evan feel. Sneaking a glance over his shoulder Evan whipped back around, bright red. Ok, maybe just productive in... other ways. 

He shook his head, trying to clear all thoughts and images of Connor from it (difficult) and focusing. The instrumental of the cast recording would play in the background while he recorded as a substitute till Alana and Zoe finished whatever they were doing. 

He leaned forward onto the balls of his feet as the song began, speaking the first line before he sang.

“You know what’s funny? Seeing you, sitting all alone in your uniform...” 

The chopping of the cellos in his ears helped drown out his thoughts as he closed his eyes, focusing on putting his emotions into carefully inflected words, perfect pitch, and being relaxed. 

“She was a waitress at a shop, I used to frequent quite a lot, nice teeth and small hands, who snuck me goodies I couldn’t afford then. She was sweet to me; reminds me of you.” 

The memorized words rolled off his tongue as Evan tried his best to relax his shoulders, opening up his lungs to more air. He felt his fingers unconsciously twitch as he remembered he was being watched, sliding along the edge of his cast, and Evan let them, shoving down his self loathing instead of his thoughts of Connor. As the lyrics left his lips he thought not of how stupid he looked when he sang, what he usually did, but instead of the way Connor’s hair curled around his neck, how his legs flexed, perfectly imperfect eyes flicking in and out as he blinked. 

The wavering in his voice that never truly went away smoothed out a bit, hands stilling a little more than he normally could get them too. 

“Sometimes one bite is more than enough... To know you want more of the thing you just got a taste of.” 

As the part Evan was singing dwindled out, he carefully opened his eyes, slow because he knew from experience the lights burned. With a deep inhale Evan turned ever so slightly more towards Connor’s seat. 

He was met with those eyes first, sending a tingle down his spine, and then he took in the full face that was staring at him in awe. Lips parted lightly, leaning forward with his elbows pressed to his knees and chin squished by his fist, Connor looked astounded. Catching Evan watching him he mouthed,

“You are amazing.” 

Evan felt his blush expand but for once his hateful brain didn’t immediately reject the compliment. /Connor thinks I’m amazing./ Evan grinned as he faced Jared who gave him a thumbs up, goofy smile plastered on his face. Oh god Jared totally knew something was up and Connor only said that so Jared would see and know how nice he was- and there we go, pain train right on schedule. Despite the fact that Evan knew that was totally ridiculous, no one would do something so unnecessary, despite the fact Connor and him had a date so good they planned a second, he couldn’t help but worry. 

He sighed gently and turned back to the microphone as Jared began to list off the few parts he’d like to be touched up. And off they were again, same process, copy and paste.

—-

Evan slipped off his headphones and glanced at the clock. Only 2 hours? Surprisingly good time, usually they were in the studio for 3 or 4 before Jared got all the clips he wanted. He tried to say goodbye to Jared but the teen just waved him off. Rolling his eyes, Evan walked out of his room and stood before Connor, his straight and Connor’s bent knees brushing. 

“Thanks for wait- thanks for waiting that whole time, I warned you it would be crazy long but no one ever belie-“ Evan was cut off by Connor’s lips pressed gently to his cheek, softly kissing his blush. Oh right, that was a thing now. 

((Flashback real quick because it’s a cute scene so meh))

((The boys stood hand in hand, toe to toe in front of Evan’s room. Connor smiled warmly at Evan as the shorter boy gently brushed a lock of hair that had come loose from Connor’s face. Leaning down he gently pecked Evan’s cheek, pulling back far enough to make sure Evan was ok with it before brushing his lips against his other cheek, tinged pink. 

“I had a great time,” Connor whispered, though he didn’t exactly know why.

“Me too,” Evan whispered back and gave him that fragile, nervous smile, and oh yeah that’s why. This was holy.

The two just stood for a moment, Connor feeling the warmth of Evan’s fingers pressed safely into his palm, before pulling back.

“I’ll see you on Sunday.”

“See you.”))

Evan nuzzled against Connor’s jaw ever so lightly after Connor’s lips left his cheek before pulling back, not missing the way the brunette trailed after him. He felt a foreign burst of pride in his chest at the sight of Connor’s pupils filling out his irises. 

“Your hair looks pretty like this. I mean, it always, it always looks pretty, but th-this is new, well new for me. And it’s really pretty.” Connor laughed and tugged Evan down the hall towards their coats. 

“Come on lover boy we’re going to miss our movie. And for the record, you look hot when you sing. Massive turn on.” Connor winked and Evan giggled as he allowed himself to be pulled to the coat rack and out to Connor’s car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked, if you have a comment of criticism or anything feel free to tell me :D
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, next chapter could be out tomorrow, could be out 2 weeks from now. I'll have to see what I can do. Thanks again!
> 
> P.s. I just started another fic (solangelo circus au) so if you're interested in that, check it out!
> 
> Xoxo


	10. Movies and Making Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi! So this chapter isn't marked where things start and end. Basically they do make out in a theater which does add some info and plot or whatever and isnt a huge part of it. They talk some too. Stay safe :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Sorry it's been so long. Again, this chapter is not marked and could probably be skipped but if anyone wants me to mark it just let me know.

Chapter 9 (Connor POV)

After driving for a few minutes, Connor possibly breaking a few traffic laws and Evan gripping the seat nervously the entire time, they arrived at the theater, a small but nice place that showed movies months after they had come out for cheaper. 

Connor ducked under the theater doorway, pulling Evan with him, their hands sealed together. It had begun drizzling as they drove over and Connor’s hair was damp and beginning to curl more than usual. The brown haired boy smiled softly at the sight of Evan, who stood behind him looking like he’d just walked through a cloud. Tiny droplets of water clung to his blond hair, shirt speckled with the rain’s pattern. He reached over and softly ran a hand through the tips of Evan’s hair, brushing out the drops. 

“I thought we were going to miss our movie?” Evan said, smiling dopily up at Connor. He just bent down and smacked a loud kiss against Evan’s eyebrow before pulling him inside, both of their throats filled with laughter. 

Tickets safely purchased the two bought snacks and settled in the back row. Connor may or may not have gotten seats as far back as possible because they were the optimal make-out seats. May or may not have. He’d find out soon enough.

The seats were nice and leaned back, bigger than common theater seats. Connor lifted the armrest partition from between their seats and Evan scooted closer, their arms pressed together all the way to Connor’s marked up wrist and Evan’s casted hand. 

“When do you get the cast off?” Connor said, leaning a bit too close to Evan’s ear and delighting in the shiver that ran down the boy’s spine in response.

“Uh, one... one more week?” Evan tilted his head slightly so Connor’s lips were dusting across his cheekbone and the corner of his eye. He had a freckle right between his eye and hairline and Connor had the sudden ridiculous thought of licking it. He began to pull back, trying to collect all his rational thoughts, but Evan hooked his hand around Connor’s neck and gently tugged him back in, resting his head on the taller boy’s shoulder. A smile danced across Connor’s face at the sweet, innocent gesture. One of his hands crept around Evan’s waist and landed on his hip bone, fingers splayed. 

The movie was some generic spy action movie; hot male protagonist, unneeded violence, scantily clad females. Connor hated to contribute to the production of this trash but it he would let it slide because every time his fingers pressed into the boy’s skin, Evan made these adorable humming noises, relaxed and in his throat, and Connor would rather die than disturb that sacred sound. 

He got about halfway through the movie before his hand trailed a little higher, sliding under Evan’s shirt, and he savored the way Evan’s breath hitched, side tensing before relaxing under Connor’s touch.

“Is this ok?” Connor whispered, fingers lax as they smoothed over the boy’s soft skin. Evan exhaled and Connor almost missed the tinge if anxiety it held.

“It’s ok.”

“You sure?” He slid his hand back down, gently lifting it back over Evan’s shirt and tugging at the fabric lightly. Evan shifted till he was facing Connor with his hand still secure on his waist.

“I’m sure,” he said, his smile reaching his eyes, their edges still tinged with worry. “There’s just people and I’ve never... done this before. The- the dating thing. I just don’t want to mess it up.” Connor practically crooned at the expression on Evan’s face, eyebrows scrunched up and lips pursed. He cupped the back of the boy’s head and pressed a kiss to his lips, lingering a bit longer than he had before. When his hand brushed under Evan’s shirt again the he moaned and his lips parted ever so slightly, allowing Connor entrance to his mouth. 

The rest of the movie was ignored in favor of licking into Evan’s mouth, choking back whimpers as their tongues curled together. He greedily took in Evan’s taste, slightly salty from the popcorn, hands trying to reach every part of the blond’s body. Evan’s fingers were tangled in his hair, gently tugging at his braided curls to pull him into a better angle. Speaking of better angles, there was no way Evan was new at this, Connor thought. No one knew how to do those things with their hands, their mouth, without experience. 

By the time he pulled back fully, the lights on at the end of he movie, Evan’s lips were pink and swollen slightly, eyes half lidded with what Connor thought could be considered sex eyes. 

The two sat, knees pressed together, leaning over the arm rest, faces close together as they regained their breath. After a moment Evan blinked a little then giggled. The adorable, tiny noise set off Connor’s laughing and they continued grinning as they got up, receiving a few stares on their way out of the theater. The laughing only paused for a moment outside as Connor pressed Evan against the car door, lips locking together, before pulling apart again and opening the door. He held it open for Evan, waving his hand and feeling pride at Evan’s soft joy, closing the door like he was a chauffeur. 

Sliding into his seat he buckled in before backing out, making sure to go a slightly more legal speed, for Evan’s sake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tysm! I should have the next 2 chapters out very soon. The next one will be a long one. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think in the comments! I have a second fic I'm working on: Remember, the whole world's a circus. Which is a Solangelo fic if you want to read that.
> 
> Thank you!
> 
> Xoxo


	11. Come to dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heidi is here!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is, again, some mild stuff not marked in here. Let me know if youd like it marked :) it's not a problem

Chapter 10 (Evan POV)

Evan sighed as he pushed the computer away from him, rubbing at his eyes. He had been working on this research paper for 4 hours and his eyes were starting to go fuzzy. He blinked harshly, trying to get the spots swimming in front of his eyes to fade. 

A knock sounded at his door, shaking Evan out of his attempts. He stood slowly, knees creaking a bit on the way up as he stretched. 

“Come in?” Heidi popped her head through the doorway and Evan felt a brief wave of relief wash over him, even though of course it would only be her.

“I’ve got pizza downstairs and can drive you to therapy after we eat?” Heidi smiled at him though her eyes were a bit hesitant, almost cautious. They had gotten in a fight last week, something about college and money, leaving both feeling horrible. Evan cringed at the thoughts, self doubt crawling in. She probably didn’t want to eat with him, didn’t have time to drive him, he was just being a burden.

“If your not- not busy I’d like that.” Evan managed to get out, trying to ignore his brain despite the fact that that tactic rarely worked. 

“I’m not actually, I got two nights off to spend time with you. It’s been a while since you’ve stayed at home, I want to be here for it.” The smile reached her eyes now and Evan responded with one of his own. The two walked down the stairs, Evan’s knees clicking from sitting for too long and Heidi’s from age. They chatted about Evan’s essay and how college was going as Evan collected plates and Heidi opened up the pizza box, getting them each a slice. 

They settled in front of the tv and after a moment Evan convinced Heidi to let them watch Gilmore Girls. Connor had some strange guilty pleasures and Evan had indulged in the viewing of 3 seasons with him so far. 

Minutes full of chewing and laughing at the show later, Heidi tentatively asked, “So, anyone you want to have over for dinner? A boyfriend? Or just a friend? Just a friend is fine.” Heidi quickly tacked on the latter phrases at the sight of Evan’s twitching fingers and nervous glances down at his plate.

She deserved to know and honestly Evan had been meaning to tell her. Connor had agreed that she could know, though he wasn’t too keen on telling Larry or Cynthia yet. Evan had come out to her as bisexual in a panicked moment in 11th grade, the topic much smoother now than it had been.

“There is... maybe. Maybe tomorrow? I could invite someone to dinner tomorrow.” Evan mumbled a bit, fingers sliding over the cast he would soon be lacking. His eyes flicked up, catching the beaming grin Heidi tried to hide. She loved being a part of his social life, even when it was pathetically small. 

“That would be wonderful.” Heidi had managed to tame her expression, her voice gentle. “Thinking of anyone in particular? Perhaps Zoe or Jared? Alana? Someone from work?” Evan tensed a little but tried not to show it. He could do this.

“It’s Zoe’s brother act-actually. Uh, Connor. He’s very nice, you... you’ll like him.” 

“Sounds great, I’m sure I will.” Heidi then left the subject alone, seeing as how nervous Evan was, which Evan appreciated. The mother and son sat in comfortable silence, eating and watching the show. Slowly the comments started back up again and they continued their conversation about who Rory should really be dating. 

—-

“She’ll love you, please.”

“I don’t know,” Connor mumbled, avoiding Evan’s eyes. “She sounds so nice and I’m... not.” 

“You are too!” Evan pressed one hand flat against Connor’s chest, the other cupping his cheek and making them facing each other. In this position he was practically on Connor’s lap on his bed, thighs atop Connor’s and ankles crossed behind his back. Connor wrapped his arms around Evan’s waist, reluctantly looking into his eyes. Evan knew he’d won at the sight of the brunette’s resigned expression but continued anyways. “You’re so smart and cute and nice to me which is what she really cares about. Really nice to me.” He leaned close, brushing their noses together and Connor let out a gentle breath, hands sliding up Evan’s back. 

“If you say so...” 

“I do.” Evan wasn’t sure where this confidence came from but his mom would love Connor and he was so nice to him. He ran a hand through Connor’s hair, humming happily at the little noises it pulled from his throat. Twining his fingers into the curls he tugged lightly and shivered as Connor let out a choked moan, staring at him with wide eyes. 

Connor breathed deeply, eyes fluttering open and glaring at Evan’s in-awe expression. 

“Shut up. I’m sensitive.”

“Yeah you are,” Evan said, giving another experimental pull, careful not to do it too hard. Connor’s grip across his back tightened and he mewled, mewled, the sounds shooting straight through Evan’s body to their target, before Connor gently pushing Evan off, face red and curling into himself.

“I’m so sorry I should have asked I-“

“Evan!” Evan took a breath, hands out in some attempt to comfort Connor without touching him. The taller boy reached out and grabbed his hands, bring them to his lap. “It’s ok. I’m just... embarrassed. You did nothing wrong though I promise. It was nice.”

Embarrassed? Evan’s brain registered that first. What was he embarrassed of, those heavenly noises? It was nice set in second and he stared up at Connor from his new seat on the floor. 

“It was nice?” 

Connor blushed again, the sight reminding Evan of how red he probably was. 

“More than nice.”

“Oh.” The pair sat, breathing quiet for a moment until Connor relaxed, limbs falling open and scooting over to create more room on the couch. Evan sat back down on the cushion, close enough to fell the warmth radiating off his boyfriend.

“That’s good- good to know.” 

“It is?” Connor lifted an eyebrow slightly, a smile tracing his lips as he looked at Evan, who was the blushing one now.

“I mean y-yeah, if you like it then I’ll... do that. More.” Connor snorted out a tiny laugh before waving off Evan’s worried expression. 

“No no I’m not laughing at you it’s just of course you would have a sweet innocent response to finding out I have a hair pulling kink.” Those words did nothing to lighten Evan’s blush and he tucked his chin in an attempt to hide his face, leaning into Connor’s open arms. The taller boy smiled and held Evan tight, humming softly as he smoothed his hands across his back. 

“So you’ll come to dinner?” Evan normally hated how small his voice sounded but like this, echoing off Connor’s chest, it felt right. 

“I’ll come to dinner.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! My school load is really heavy so im not sure when I'll get the next chapter out, sorry. 
> 
> Let me know what you think about this!
> 
> Xoxo


	12. Its Lovely to be Loved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor has dinner with the Hansen fam!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi, I'm sorry this took so long. I promise im not abandoning anything, I'm just very busy so updates are slow
> 
> Enjoy!

Chapter 11 (Connor POV) 

Connor regretted agreeing to come to dinner. Evan and his stupidly adorable face and wide eyes, asking him to meet his mother. God he was going to fuck this up. The Hansen’s were nice, innocent, soft people. From what he’d heard Heidi was gentle and careful. He was a hurricane, parts strewn all over the floor, wrists jagged and words too sharp like a smashed bottle. He didn’t want to bring that into her life, date her son, precious Evan. 

Yet Evan had stayed. Even when he sat through Connor’s late night break downs and saw his scars and spiteful eyes, he hadn’t left. He was making Connor better in ways, eyes hardening before becoming gentle at the sight of the boy, hands stilling at his side instead of clenching to fists. 

Connor exhaled, brushing his side bangs back from his face. His hair was a curly mess, spilling across his shoulders and fluffy from air drying. He needed to get a trim he thought, studying a split end that had curled across his neck before he plucked it with his finger tips. 

Instead of attempting an updo Connor kept his hair down, brushing through it and taming it slightly. His hair was almost like a coping mechanism; a curtain he could hide behind, a reason to avoid eyes. Plus Zoe said it made him look softer, a bit rounder at the edges, and Connor would take what he could get. 

He tugged on a button up, opting to leave off his hoodie out shell. Almost all of his outfits consisted of layers upon layers of tops, varying in shades of black and gray. Evan had told him the dinner was going to be super causal but he still wanted to look nicer than the mess he usually was. He gave the mirror one more look, nose scrunching slightly in distaste, blue eye faded beneath his hair and brown eye dark. He couldn’t help but noice how... alive they were. Not weird or anything, they just used to have a look, an empty stare haunting his reflection. Like he was blind, or dead. 

Connor decided he liked them better alive. 

——

He was nervous again, just like their first date. The Hansen’s really had a way with him. Connor smoothed down his collar, adjusted the bouquet in his hand, and knocked twice before stepping back. Almost immediately he heard footsteps hurrying towards the door.

Evan opened the door and Connor almost gasped, he looked fucking adorable. He had a soft blue hoodie with lavender embroidered on the sleeves over ripped jeans. His hair brushed across his eyebrow, the result of too long without a haircut. They really needed to get on that. Glancing down Connor saw that he had striped socks on. Striped socks.He was so precious. 

“Hi!”

“Hi,” Connor responded, probably smiling too big. He held the flowers out, an offering. Evan’s eyes widened an he blushed, smiling happily back at Connor and taking the roses. He pressed his nose against the bud closest to him, eyes fluttering shut as he inhaled. He was beautiful.

“Thank you. They’re... perfect.” Evan softly gazed at the pretty pink and white swirled roses before looking back up at Connor. “Um, come in! I should-should’ve asked you to come in earlier I-I’m sorry, you’ve just been standing there. Sorry.” Connor leaned forward and kissed the blond boy’s nose before slipping past him, into the house. 

“It’s no problem really Ev.” He stood just inside the door, placing his shoes on the rack before turning back to Evan, fiddling with the sleeves rugged down over his arms. “Is your mom? Here?” Connor startled upon hearing a loud clanking noise, head whipping around to stare behind him.

“Yeah we we’re finishing up dinner.” 

“Oh did I come early? Sorry I should have verified the time before coming over.” 

“It’s alright you’re not early,” Evan said, and Connor felt bad that he was suddenly the one being comforted. “Are-are you nervous? Because she’ll like you, really. Probably too much, though I told her not to hug you because I know you don’t really do that right away and she can be a lot not in a bad way she’s great but she does hug all my friends that she meets and-“ 

Connor cut Evan off with a kiss to the lips this time, curling a hand behind his neck. He tugged into the shorter boy’s body was flush with his and gently moved his mouth, savoring how Evan’s fingers automatically found their way into his hair. He let out a tiny muffled noise when Evan gave a gentle pull and they broke apart, breathing harder than before. It took all of Connor’s will to not press back into Evan’s body, forget dinner entirely and all his nerves and just pin the boy against the wall till his body converted the taste of his lips to oxygen. 

Instead he ran his hand over Evan’s cheekbone, curling down to his chin and tilting him up so their eyes locked. He was comforted by how caring Evan’s gaze was, almost... loving. 

“Evan? Is he here?” 

A woman’s voice echoed from deeper inside the house, both boys startling back at the sound and stepping back from each other. Nothing suspicious here, Connor thought, trailing his eyes against Evan’s pink lips, soft looking from their kiss. Nothing at all. 

“He’s here!” Evan called, taking Connor’s wrist and walking down the hall. Suddenly the anxiety about meeting his boyfriend’s mom was back. He was screwed up, he was going to screw this up. But Evan’s fingers were tight and warm on his wrist and he was leading him into the light filled room ahead.

—-

Heidi was exactly how Connor pictured her. He’d seen pictures of her but her personality, gentle hands, laugh that sounded like a confident version of Evan’s... it fit. 

She had smiled at him, shaking his hand and squeezing it a little before letting go. She complimented his hair, thanked him excessively for the flowers, and apologized for the state of the Hansen’s perfect house. Connor could breathe, tried to get the words to stumble out right, not saying anything that could be offensive. 

They say at the table, eating a casserole the two had made together. Connor had been slightly hesitant at first, flashbacks of Cynthia’s diet plans flashing through his head. Now he happily cut through his second piece of the delicious substance. The chatter was easy, so much easier than at home, though Connor suspected Heidi was trying to keep the mood light. 

She sat opposite the small round table, the boys pressed closer together. Every once in a while Evan’s newly cast-free arm slid along Connor’s, sending shivers down his back that he tried to repress. Evan hasn’t told Heidi they were dating yet, saying he would tonight after dinner. Connor had a sneaking suspicious that the woman already knew though from the way her gaze lingered on the little space between them, lips curling into a smile. 

Best of all, she didn’t hate him. He hadn’t fucked up, keeping the dark jokes to a minimum and sleeves down. He wasn’t ruining this, for once his boyfriends mom liked him. 

That’s when it hit him. At the table in the Hansen’s cozy house, Heidi’s laugh ringing out and Evan’s fingers tracing patterns on his own. This was real. He had a boyfriend, a blushing cheeks and handholding boyfriend. A boyfriend whose mom liked him and who somehow liked him and all at once Connor realized that he loved Evan Hansen. This perfect softness, light so rarely disturbed by their disagreements that were quickly resolved with careful words and fingers curling into hair, lips brushing skin. This was love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading :)  
Sorry again for the slow updates. I updated my other fic as well, I don't think anyone is reading both but if you are or want to :))
> 
> Comment if youd like, it really does make my day.
> 
> I had a bad week and just want to let you know if you ever need to talk I'm available. You're important and loved, though it doesn't always feel that way
> 
> Xoxo


	13. And they lived happily ever after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Also known as "the chapter I like to call: disappointing my mother"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry this took so long.  
Warning: this is essentially just and smut. So don't read if you don't like and if you do, sorry im not that experienced 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading :)

Chapter 12 (Evan POV)

Dinner had gone perfectly. Heidi hadn’t mentioned anything about boyfriends or brought out baby pictures. Connor had seemed relaxed and polite. Heidi loved compliments, but they didn’t invite many people over to compliment her hard work. It was nice how easily Connor fit in, like he’d always belonged.

The two boys sat on Evan’s bed. Heidi was asleep, Evan had checked on her about an hour ago. She never got enough rest so her “bed time” was pretty early. 

Evan sat close to Connor, legs crossed over his lap and bent into the taller boy’s own in a way that couldn’t be comfortable, yet Connor didn’t complain. They were watching Gilmore Girls again, Connor’s obsession seeping into Evan until he couldn’t help but like the show. 

His hand moved languidly against Connor’s neck, sliding into his hair and then back down. His cheek was pressed into the brunette’s shoulder, hard enough that it left a small crease on his skin.

As his hand moved through Connor’s hair again the taller boy shifted, tugging Evan impossibly closer and cupping his face. Turning to face him, ignoring the tv, Evan leaned into his touch as Connor gently pressed their lips together, brushing his tongue across Evan’s bottom lip before pulling away. Evan had no idea why he was breathing so hard but he didn’t want to stop. He pulled Connor back down, not all that gently, and he laughed as their balance was lost and suddenly Connor was on top of him. 

He grinned down at Evan wickedly and Evan couldn’t help but lean up, pull down, do anything possible to make their bodies touch as many places as possible. The heat between them was clouding his eyes and they hadn’t even done anything, yet Connor hovering over him made Evan’s body hum with delight. 

Connor leaned down, expression softening as he pressed his lips along Evan’s cheeks and trailed past his jaw, down his throat. The boy paused and licked at Evan’s skin, which he was sure tasted like sweat. Connor didn’t seem to think it was a bad thing though because he continued, mouth burning and hot against the smaller boy’s neck.

Evan gasped softly as Connor’s thigh slid between his own, his knees falling apart. Connor sat up, rearranging himself slightly so he was kneeling with one leg between Evan’s, still applying pressure to his crotch.

“This ok?” Connor’s hands were almost shaking as they trailed down to rest on Evan’s chest. He nodded quickly, a stuttered “yes” filling his mouth, eyes, sinuses. Connor looked pleased as he rocked forward and Evan’s entire body spasmed, desperately pushing his hips back to Connor’s. A perfect match, they slid together easily. Evan was able to feel Connor’s hip bones, still protruding slightly despite his now regular eating habits. 

Evan looked up at Connor’s face, gently brushing away his hair so he could see the brunette’s eyes, pupils blown wide enough you could barely see their contrasting colors. He was smiling smugly at Evan’s flushed face and quaking hips, subconsciously trying to create friction between them. 

Connor’s eyes were blocked from Evan’s view by his own lids, fluttering closed as Connor pressed kisses along his cheek bones, body lifting slightly as he tilted towards Evan’s face. This freed Evan and he pushed past the thoughts attempting to flood his brain, “useless, ugly, shameful, virgin, disgusting disgusting DISGUSTING” and ground up hard.

Conor fucking whimpered, whimpered, against his throat and it was so worth it. How could this be shameful, how could he be useless when he’d caused that noise, more beautiful than any song he could sing. Connor was unabashedly grinding down into his lap now, teeth and tongue wetting his neck. Evan couldn’t keep his hands still, didn’t know where to put them. Was it weird to just put them on his back? Too controlling to hold his waist, pull him down again and again? His question was not-so-quietly answered as Connor practically screamed when Evan’s hands twisted gently in his hair. Evan soothed him back to whispered moans, not wanting the noises to ever stop but definitely not wanting to wake his mom. 

“So good, don’t stop please yes that’s-there oh my godconnorpleaseohmygod-“ The words dripped from Evan’s lips, stutter wiped out by Connor’s skillful tongue and hushed by his soft sounds. He pressed down as Evan pressed up, leg bending just right, teeth grazing his skin, and Evan came harder than he had in his entire masturbating life time. 

Shame washed over him in waves with the pleasure, after all he had just gotten off like a desperate teenager against someone’s thigh. But it wasn’t just someone it was Connor, who had stopped the pressure when Evan twitched away from sensitivity, but hadn’t stopped lapping at his neck. Slowly, Evan curled his hand not occupied with Connor’s hair at the edge of his boyfriend’s shirt and after a moment of hesitation, slid it under. Connor must have been as on edge as he was because with a hand gently tugging his hair and a thumb sliding across his nipple Connor gasped, hips jerking once before stilling against Evan. 

Amid Evan’s soft reassurances and rambling compliments Connor dragged himself up and curled into Evan. Wrapping his arms around him Evan continued to anxiously word vomit, thankfully pleasant things, into Connor’s neck. Connor just hummed tiredly in response, one hand creeping along Evan’s waist to his back. Evan’s brain slowed as Connor’s hand stroked his back in a calming rhythm. 

“-wonderful really, I mean I’ve never done that so I guess I wouldn’t know but I’m sure you’re very good it felt very good did it feel good for you? Oh my god I’m sorry I don’t know what I was doing was that bad?” Connor smushed their mouths together, missing slightly, in an effort to quiet the boy. Pulling back Evan tried to focus. Eye contact had never been his thing until Connor, whose gaze was never judging and oh so pretty. The same gaze now painted with alarm.

“You’re a virgin? Not even a virgin but a dry-humping-one-out-on-the-couch virgin?” Evan nodded, a bit confused, at Connor’s question. “Oh my god how... dude. Shit I can’t believe I did that to you. Fuck your first time should have been all rose petals and not me being a total bottom of a top and not me-“ 

“Why not you?” Evan said, hurt despite knowing that wasn’t the intent. “I like you, a lot. I don’t need rose petals or a top or whatever that means. I just want you, and that’s what I got. And you didn’t do that to me, I did that. We both did that.” Connor was staring at him again, eyes softened. A loud noise came from the tv, an actor dropping something. Wrists smacked and knees bumped as the two startled, unable to move far with their web of limbs. Evan laughed, breathing out as the intensity of the situation lifted. Connor joined in and soon they were back to their original position, bodies bent around each other. 

Later they would clean off, wiping down and Evan throwing clean boxers at Connor’s face. Later they would fall asleep, faces close and arms hugging them together tightly. They wouldn’t notice Heidi coming in, pressing a gentle kiss to Evan’s forehead and brushing a hand over Connor’s cheek before closing the door as she left for work. Later the two would kiss goodbye on the stairs, the kitchen, the door of the house and then the door of Connor’s car. 

But for now they lay together, thighs and hips sticky, drying messes. Evan pet Connor’s hair in smooth motions and Connor laughed softly against his throat at the show still going. 

Later, there would be a fight, doors slammed and tears pouring. There would be broken voices over staticky phone messages and hugs and kisses filled with love that never left. A voice softly singing and footsteps dancing through a room, filling it with a music of their own, the sounds carrying two hearts. Later there would be a wedding wrapped in white, Connor’s dress brushing the ground and veil to his waist, a dare that turned out better than expected. He made Evan promise to try it on in his vows and he had agreed only because Connor looked so perfect, so happy, he would do anything to keep him that way. 

And that way they stayed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Thank you so much for reading this, all the way through perhaps.  
I am 100% going to go back and rewrite this at some point, bc most chapters are not even edited at all. Plus I'd like to make the story flow better and add more detail/plot. If you have any suggestions please let me know  
Stay safe and have a good life. Love you all  
Xoxo

**Author's Note:**

> Ahh! Thank you so so much for reading! I should have the next 2 chapters out within a few days bc they are already mostly written. Please leave constructive criticism or anything you found wrong I'll try to correct it.  
Xoxo


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